How many times does one catch one saying, ‘Where did the time go?’… sadly, too often. Even the act of saying it is time gone. With this years, merciless and manic winter weather, my long thought-filled walks have taken a backseat. Instead I find myself falling asleep all too early on the couch. Another few hours gone. I edit photos well into the evening and search for a mental challenge in games.
I go on searching for this challenge. I think with the medication, for that ADD/OCD thing, I … I’m never sure if it’s working. But I know it’s needed. Sadly, will likely need it for the rest of my life. There is one thing that calmed it however… travel. Especially in New York. Not sure why, but I found myself oddly at peace with all the hussle and bussle about.
I miss wandering around the city parks, even in the dark… I remember how therapeutic it felt. So need to go back to that time. To that place.
It’s been ages… again. My mind is making peace with itself. Quieting down. At times nearly silent. Spending time with family is great… especially when it’s away from the chaos of the city. I just wish my girlfriend could’ve joined. Then it would’ve been even better.
I love going back through my old photos. Looking at all the places I’ve been. It’s nice to day dream when you’re not feeling great. The thing is I often go looking for hidden gems. Those photos that when you look at them the first time aren’t anything special. But months later, tilting your head a certain way, thinking about it differently. And all of a sudden you have a favorite.
I can’t emphasize how incredibly important having a shoot cancel on me was. No, I never got caught up on all the other previous work (i.e. shoots) I had to… I just had to escape from the monotonous… ness. So I did. I got myself out of the house, headed to the local park and went on a journey. I had to explore something I hadn’t seen. People get that feeling right? I typically get it about a week after travelling… but that hasn’t happened lately. It was at this one moment though, not the moment driving there, or the moment when I said “I need to explore” that I realized I hadn’t worn warm socks or taking very good gloves with me. Bravo David. Bravo. So needless to say this first exploration (yes, it wouldn’t be the last) I wasn’t to endure the frigid temperatures in expectation of some divine feeling of relaxation but rather run back to the car and call it quits. That was until a friend told me to go back. As luck would have it I had picked up better gloves (after realizing mine were crap the first time) and did just that. Bravo friend. Bravo.
I didn’t pass that many people on my second time out. The light was getting dimmer. I had hoped for a rousing sunset. That did not happen. The thing is, something kept nagging at me. I had remembered my gloves. My socks. My nice woodsman style hat. But something wasn’t right. You know those moments, when you can hear nothing but nature, you’re as far from your car as you can be, standing next to a river, see your breath escape your body, and smell… well nothing because it’s so bloody cold out, and you say to yourself… oh… shit… I totally forgot my phone in my car. Yeah. I had one of those moments. I told myself one thing and one thing only at that moment. Just don’t fall in the water.